Wednesday, November 10, 2010

It's taken me a while to write about this, as I didn't have the words when this happened over the weekend. Even as I write this now, I'm crying onto the keyboard.

The short version of this is: I have a group of friends I met on the Internet. I met them on my club board (Aug '09!) on They're amazing women, and although I've never met most of them, over the years (most of us got to know each other in 2008) we've become a closeknit group. If you've ever checked out the August Cooks blog, you'll have met some of them yourself.

Over the weekend, one of our own suffered a terrible loss. And with her, we, from our different corners of the world, wept too. Emily and her husband have both had amazing strength and courage in the face of all the unfairness the universe could throw at them. Even in what must surely be the darkest hours in any parent's life, they found joy, laughter and happiness. Well into her second trimester, Emily went into early labour and gave birth to her triplets. None of them survived.

I don't know if I would be able to find such strength in that situation. Emily truly represents the best humanity has to offer.

Out of our little group - once strangers, now good friends - have managed to raise close to 600$ in support of Emily and Sean, and in memory of their triplets: Avery, Trinity and Langston.

It's not enough. Nothing we could ever do will be enough. Enough would bring the family back together again. We don't have that power.

But I'd like to think that, perhaps, our March of Dimes donation will help another family come through their darkest hour.

If you have time, please read Emily's story. If you have children, hold them close. If you have neither, please walk away from this post knowing that, even in the face of unspeakable tragedy, there is great love in the world.


MandeeFoFandee said...

this post gave me goosebumps. it amazes me how strong and resilient our friends are in this time of need to help one of our own. Emily is full of courage, and even though we can't bring them back, we can help her to find peace.

K said...

Hi Alyson! This is Kaki, David Blackwood's wife. I was going to come on here and send you some love for you delicious looking recipes, but I stumbled on this post and my heart stopped. Dave and I suffered through a similar loss 6 months ago (we lost our baby daughter at 23 weeks) and while I couldn't bring myself to read your friend's post (a bit too close to the bone for me right now), I just wanted to say thank you for mentioning it and bringing it into the open even more. I've found that it's something people are too scared to talk about (well, that has been my experience in Britain), so thanks for this little bit of bravery.

Dave and I will be moving to the GTA next year (I'll be arriving in January)so we hope to get together with you and Phil. Gifu JETs reunion!

Take care.

Alyson said...

Oh Kaki, I'm so sorry! It's terrible for any parent to lose their child - but I think it's doubly compounded when it's not quite seen as the same kind of tragedy as someone whose 1 year old dies. Loss is loss, you know? It's shocking the number of people I know who have lost their children this way... and you're right, it's such a hidden topic. I wish more people talked about it too.


I almost hate to end on a happy note, but I (and I speak for Phil as well) would love to see you and David! That's great that you're moving to the GTA! Why the move?

K said...

Thanks for your words.

We've been living in the UK for the past 3 years (1 in Nottingham and 2 in Fife near Edinburgh) and we've just had enough. We came to the UK for Dave's career and we stayed because it was the safe option i.e. we both had jobs with benefits, saving money, etc, but we both knew this wasn't the right place for us. After we lost Isla, there didn't seem to be any point in hanging about and I'm keen to have a support system near by (I have my sis and several friends in TO), start a new career and just have a life again. I've found it really hard to make friends here (damn that British reserve!!!) and things just aren't popping like I'm used to, being from Montreal and all. Thankfully, Dave and I are on the same page. It would be great to expand our circle by getting together with you and Phil. I think it would be a lot of fun. Hope to see you soon.

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